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Breaking Self-Trust: How it Happens & How to Rebuild It With EFT Tapping

emotional wellbeing healing mindset Apr 21, 2023
Donna Louise Coaching
Breaking Self-Trust: How it Happens & How to Rebuild It With EFT Tapping

We all know that trust is an important part of any healthy relationship, but what about the relationship we have with ourselves?

Self-trust is just as important, if not more so, as it forms the foundation of our self-esteem and our ability to make sound decisions.

Unfortunately, self-trust can be easily broken, and once it's gone, it can be difficult to rebuild.

In this post, we'll explore some of the ways that self-trust can be broken, as well as how EFT Tapping can help you rebuild it.

How Self-Trust Can Be Broken

There are many ways that self-trust can be broken, but here are some of the most common:

  1. Not keeping promises to yourself

    This can include everything from breaking a promise to exercise regularly to not following through on a commitment to yourself to take a course or learn a new skill.

    Over time, these broken promises can lead to a loss of faith in your ability to achieve your goals and to self-doubt and insecurity.

  1. Ignoring your intuition

    We all have an inner voice telling us when something isn't right, or we should take a certain action.

    Ignoring this voice can lead to losing trust in your judgment, missed opportunities, and regret.

  1. Not taking responsibility for your actions

    When you blame others or make excuses for your mistakes, you don't own up to your part in the situation.

    This can lead to a loss of trust in your ability to make good decisions and to a lack of accountability for your own life leading you to feel it's out of your control.

  1. Being dishonest with yourself

    When you lie to yourself or deny your true feelings, you're not being honest about who you are and what you want.

    This can lead to a loss of trust in your values and beliefs and a sense of disconnection from yourself.

  1. Allowing others to dictate your decisions

    When you let others make decisions for you or don't stand up for what you believe in or want, you're not honouring your voice and intuition.

    This can lead to a loss of trust in your judgment and a sense of powerlessness and lack of agency.

The Impact of Stress on Self-Trust

Chronic stress can significantly impact our ability to trust ourselves over time.

A client I worked with was feeling constantly overworked and stressed in her job.

As a result, their nervous system became dysregulated from the overproduction of cortisol, making them feel exhausted and causing a ripple effect on their self-trust.

As their self-trust became broken, they experienced self-doubt and insecurity, finding it hard to make decisions, leading to more mistakes than usual. 

Fear of taking risks and a sense of disconnection from themselves made it challenging to move forward and had them in a vicious cycle.

But the client knew they had to take action.

They gradually rebuilt their self-trust through self-care practices, like EFT tapping and prioritizing activities that helped them relax and destress.

After a few one-to-one sessions and frequent private practice, EFT helped them release the negative thoughts and emotions weighing them down and regulate their nervous system.

As a result, they felt more relaxed and grounded, leading to being willing to take risks again and make authentic decisions aligned with their values.

How EFT Tapping Can Help You Build Self-Trust Again

EFT tapping can be a powerful tool for accepting and forgiving oneself for breaking self-trust and building it back up again for several reasons:

  1. It helps to release negative emotions: When we break our self-trust, we often experience negative emotions such as guilt, shame, regret, and self-blame.

    These emotions can be difficult to deal with and can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk.

    EFT tapping can help to release these negative emotions by stimulating the body's energy points and reducing the emotional intensity of the negative feelings.

  2. It promotes self-compassion: Self-compassion is the act of treating ourselves with the same kindness, concern, and support we would offer to a good friend.

    When we break our self-trust, it's easy to fall into self-criticism and self-judgment.

    EFT tapping can promote self-compassion by helping us to acknowledge and accept our mistakes while still holding ourselves with kindness and understanding that we did the best we could with the information, resources and abilities we had at the time.  

  3. It regulates your physical nervous system: As mentioned earlier, chronic stress can cause the nervous system to become dysregulated, leading to a variety of physical and emotional symptoms.

    EFT tapping helps regulate the physical nervous system by reducing the body's stress response and promoting relaxation.

    When our physical nervous system is regulated, we are better able to think clearly and make decisions that align with our values and goals.


Here's how you can use EFT tapping for this purpose:

  1. Identify the negative emotions associated with breaking self-trust
  • Take some time to reflect on the emotions that come up when you think about breaking self-trust. Examples could include guilt, shame, regret, and self-blame.
  • Write these emotions down and rank them in order of intensity.

  1. Set up the EFT tapping sequence
  • Begin by tapping on the karate chop point on the side of your hand while repeating a setup statement such as "Even though I broke my self-trust, I deeply and completely accept myself."

  1. Tap on the specific acupressure points while focusing on the negative emotions
  • Starting at the top of the head, tap on each acupressure point while focusing on the negative emotions associated with breaking self-trust.
  • While tapping, you can repeat a reminder phrase such as "I broke my self-trust, and I feel guilty" or "I regret not trusting myself."
  • Continue tapping using the 'tap & talk' technique on each acupressure point until you feel a release of the negative emotions.


  1. Shift to positive affirmations and self-acceptance
  • After tapping on the negative emotions, shift to tapping on positive affirmations and self-acceptance statements.
  • Examples of positive affirmations could include "I am worthy of self-trust" or "I forgive myself for breaking my self-trust."
  • Continue tapping on each acupressure point while repeating the positive affirmations until you feel a sense of peace and acceptance.

By using EFT tapping to address the negative emotions associated with breaking self-trust and shifting to positive affirmations and self-acceptance, you can start to build back your self-trust.

It's important to note that EFT tapping is a complementary technique and should not replace professional help if needed.

If you continue to struggle with rebuilding self-trust, consider seeking the support of a certified EFT practitioner like me, a therapist or a counsellor. 

Book your free 30-minute no-obligation consultation with me to learn how EFT Tapping can help you. 

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