Work with me

The covert truth about perfectionism

free healing mindset planning & organisation Jul 22, 2022
Donna Louise Coaching
The covert truth about perfectionism

Here’s what's really going on with perfectionism because 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.

Perfectionist behaviours such as:

  • Consistent self-criticism
  • Rarely completing projects
  • Anxiety around sharing your projects
  • Eliminating ideas because you don’t see yourself as an expert, authority or accomplished enough.
  • Giving up on something because you made a mistake 
  • Having an unbalanced need for external validation
  • Feeling like “It won't work, so what’s the point” before starting
  • Never having time for your goals. Never tried, never failed
  • Setting unpractical goals, standards and timelines for yourself
  • Constantly revising work
  • Doubting your abilities, opinions or decisions
  • Dreading feedback or lack thereof
  • Always saying your ducks need to be in a row before you do the thing
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Being scared of trying new things
  • And much more

These are all forms of subconscious self-protection because the covert truth about perfectionism is it is not about being perfect.

𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒔. 

Click here to register for the workshop by creating your free account and instantly access the Bibliotheca, an online learning portal for creatives containing all my other empowering free courses and resources. 

Childhood Origin

Perfectionist characteristics are often caused during childhood by an event/s where you were shamed or punished for not reaching someone's expectations of you or because you were only rewarded or shown affection for being good. 

When you're young, your brain is like a sponge soaking up everything around you to form who you are.  

At a young age, it doesn't have the emotional experience to recognise how the behaviour of others will help or hinder you later in life.

Instead, it runs on a very black and white subconscious survival level, looking to preserve energy by taking the path of least resistance wherever possible. 

This means you will repeat things that feel good and avoid things that cause pain or uncomfortable emotions. 

It doesn’t take much.

If you have just one significant childhood memory of being punished or rewarded around what I just mentioned, then perfectionism could be ruining your chances of living the creative life you long for. 

If this resonates and you're avoiding or procrastinating over sharing your work or starting your goals, I invite you to click here to join me for the free workshop 💻: 𝑨 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒕'𝒔 𝑮𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝑻𝒐 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 & 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮! 🗓 July 28th at 11 am CDT. Plus, when you register, you automatically get entered to win a free private EFT Tapping session with me! 



Advice that hinders or helps

The internet and probably people you know are full of great advice like, "lighten up, just stop being a perfectionist about it", and practical tools and strategies you can use to force yourself to "just get on with it" and put THAT THING you've been working on out there, it's still not likely you'll feel good about doing so until you actually work on loosening the blocks that are keeping you safe, small and in a negative holding pattern. 

Emotional Freedom Techniques is extremely powerful at helping with this, which is why during the workshop, I'll be guiding you through:

  • My proprietary framework, The Creative Freedom Process, for releasing deeply rooted mindset challenges so you can start to pursue your passion and goals with ease.
  • Writing your own EFT script for releasing perfectionist behaviours around a project you're stuck on at the moment, something you'll be able to use again and again.
  • A short but practical action plan on how to share your project once it's finished, so not knowing the next steps isn't an issue.

Click here to register for the workshop by creating your free account and instantly access the Bibliotheca, an online learning portal for creatives containing all my other empowering free courses and resources. 

Excavate the root

If you identify as a perfectionist or have a few of those behaviours, you might think, how do I get rid of my perfectionism for good? 

The truth is there is no guaranteed magic bullet for any mindset challenge. HOWEVER, excavating the root memory or memories using modalities such as EFT and NLP to reframe and process them from the subconscious mind's armoury and body will (in my week-by-week experience) help significantly.

If that is something you are curious to learn more about, I invite you to book a Creative Clarity Consultation with me to learn about scheduling a breakthrough session or a go and directly book yourself a one-off private EFT Tapping session for £97.

The other most effective approach to help release perfectionist behaviours is cultivating a progress-and process-driven mindset. This might look like joining a supportive community, working with a coach,  learning how to set goals and using a planner. All purposeful and helpful stuff that I 100% advocate for.

But I would sincerely suggest this is what you try after or alongside working to identify, reframe and process the root cause memory in the subconscious mind and body from those younger years.

Focusing on surface-level tactics and tools will only support the conscious mind, which equates to 5% of behaviour. The subconscious mind controls a whopping 95%. 


CLICK HERE to Get 30 Days of Tapping & Tips to Kick Start An Incredible Year